


Just Desserts of the Drunken Variety

by sinnierend_kuli



Category: Promare (2019)
Genre: Applebee's, Crack, Drinking, Drunk Shenanigans, Fist Fights, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:08:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26948734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinnierend_kuli/pseuds/sinnierend_kuli
Summary: Kray Foresight gets his just desserts in the parking lot of Applebee's at the hands of the very inebriated Mad Burnish Three.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 5





	Just Desserts of the Drunken Variety

**Author's Note:**

> this goes out to that_is_right for planting this damn idea in my head. i hope this is everything you dreamed of and more

They’re coming out of Applebee’s when It happens. There isn’t supposed to be an “It” and It isn’t supposed to be happening at all, let alone here at eleven o’clock, after four drinks apiece. But It is. This is Lio Fotia’s life now: standing under the portico of Applebee’s staring at the surreal sight of Gueira clinging to Kray Foresight’s back, arms locked around his neck, while Meis is latched on to the man’s legs at the knee.

They’re both cursing incoherently and Kray is roaring in confusion, staggering under Gueira’s skinny weight and Meis’s devastating leg lock. The door bangs open behind Lio and Galo makes a noise of shocked disbelief.

“Satan suck a dick,” Lucia mutters in awe. She raises her phone to the spectacle, grinning.

“Should we… stop them?” Galo asks.

Lio just stares. Kray reaches over his head, grabs Gueira by the scruff, and throws him on the sidewalk like a used T-shirt. He turns his attention to Meis and manages to extricate a leg, alternating between kicking at Meis’s head ineffectively and staggering out into the middle of the parking lot.

“Get ‘im, Maisy!” Lucia cackles. At that moment, Meis detaches and lies face-down on the pavement. He went really hard on the Long Island iced teas. Galo goes over to help Gueira sit up. Out under the streetlamp, Kray fist pumps victoriously over Meis’s fallen form.

“I got you!” he drunkenly bellows, still staggering under the much-heavier weight of inebriation. Lio is stumbling towards him at top speed before he’s even fully aware of what’s happening, some garbled mess that might be Kray Foresight’s name falling out of his mouth. Kray swings around ponderously at the last second before Lio’s fist kisses his mouth very hard. Lio, having leaped into the air dolphin-like to execute the maneuver, flails on his way down as Kray falls like timber under a lumberjack’s saw. In a mess of limbs, he steps on something squishy and sort-of regains his balance, windmilling his arms wildly and staggering several more steps before embracing the streetlamp dearly for balance.

“What…?” Kray mumbles behind Lio. Lio turns and watches the man lying sprawled on the damp asphalt, shell-shocked, as if it hadn’t occurred to him that he could be punched nor that Lio was capable of such a feat.

“Get out of here! All y’all are banned!”

Lio pulls away from his lamp pole to see the hostess standing in the doorway, thoroughly unamused by their parking lot production. And for some reason, his brain misfires and he screams, _“scatter!,”_ drunk voice betraying him and cracking like a middle-schooler’s clarinet. In the blurred frenzy that ensues, Gueira goes pelting across the parking lot bent over double trailing his arms behind him like streamers, yodeling.

“Clear out, clear out!” Meis hollers, running directly at Lio. He falls on his face trying to get out of Meis’s way and Lio manages to watch in pained horror as his cool and calculated right-hand man rams his skull into the lamppost so hard it rattles. Lio crawls over to his fallen general as Galo comes flying out of the darkness, Lucia under his arm.

“Leave him! He’s a goner!” Galo shouts, hurdling Kray with the finesse of an Olympian going for gold. Lio scrabbles to his feet and picks a direction, the Applebee’s parking lot spinning around him, and wobbles off as fast as his legs can carry him. He realizes too late his fatal error as a guard rail swims out of the darkness and drops him like a sack of potatoes--

Lio wakes up on the living room floor. It looks like early afternoon outside. He’s still in his clothes from last night, covered in dirt, and Gueira’s under the coffee table, Meis face down on the rug on the other side. Lucia is on the couch, her arm and hand dangling in Lio’s face. Galo is nowhere to be seen. Lio sits up, batting Lucia away, recalling the chaotic snatches of the mess of last night, and remembers the guard rail with a wince. After that, though, he has no clue how he got home.

“Galo,” he mumbles, voice weak and sounding like he’d chain-smoked a pack last night on top of everything else. He stands, stumbling out of the living room and into Galo’s room. Galo is hanging half out of bed, but his eyes are open. “What happened?” Lio rasps.

Galo swallows thickly and waves a hand. “Got kicked out of Applebee’s,” he says, sounding still drunk. “You decked Kray Foresight. Lucia posted it to Facebook.”

“Oh,” Lio says, leaning sideways against the door frame. “Kicked out?”

“Banned,” Galo clarifies. Lio makes a small noise of mourning. He’ll have to find a new place for five-dollar margaritas. But he grins as the feeling of Kray Foresight’s _very_ punchable lips under his knuckles comes back to him. _Worth it. Totally worth it._


End file.
